Nobody told me there would be days like these, post-surgery. I have been researching bariatric surgery since December 2017, and I don’t recall seeing anyone telling about the complete breakdown of emotion (hormones) and the ensuing chaos. I don’t recall being this out-of-control since I was around 14 years old. And before I continue, I want to issue a “disclaimer” that this post may be a bit off-the-wall, random and wandering to different subjects without notice.
I’m Day #6 post surgery. I guess I can constructively consider myself a mess, emotionally and physically. I have been nonstop crying for two full days. Irrational, uncontrolled ~ I feel like I can’t even trust myself, like I’m not safe to be around. I’m typically a quiet, uneventful person. But since I got home from the hospital, the “lash-outs” have been real, more frequent. I’m just kinda waiting for them to “subside”, if they do, but I don’t think that’s going to be an option much longer.
Then there’s this nagging, low-grade fever. It stays around 99-100 degrees most of the time. Sometimes it just disappears. I called my surgeon, fearing infection. It took over 8 hours without a call-back, and I called them finally and was told to “take Tylenol and call us if your temp goes to 101”. Ummmm, this did not instill a sense of calm. Meantime, a low-grade fever seems to be impairing my functionality.
I expected to be more “ambulatory” that I am. I am able to move about slowly, barely within my own home. I’m unable to safely go outside, let alone physically GO somewhere. And I certainly cannot drive yet. I was assured that, once I stopped taking the Oxycodone (narcotics for pain), I would be fine to drive. Um, no. I have difficulty with any sort of exertion. I lose my breath quickly and easily, and need to sit down frequently and for long periods. I can’t lift anything heavier than 7-10 lbs. I’ve spent the past 6 days trapped within these walls, looking at housework that needs to be upkept, and yard work that needs attention, yet unable to act upon either. The frustration is SO real! **I need to say that Al has been an absolute God-send through this, and does anything/everything I ask him to do, but he has his things to do too.**
How about that “change of eating lifestyle” that I prepared for? It’s hard, but it’s working. The term “conscious eating” is my new mantra. It has to be, unless I want to spend countless hours “dumping” (vomiting) from eating “wrong”. There are very strict guidelines to go by these first few weeks, and I have been following them rigidly. Most importantly, everything that passes my lips must be sugar free and preferably fat free. Sugar and fat make you dump post-surgery. So far, I’ve gone from drinking 1-2 oz of plain water to drinking protein drinks (2-3 oz) to SF (sugar free) flavored water drinks and crunching on SF popsicles. Yesterday I took my first sip of chicken bouillon and, I must admit, it was heavenly! Tonight for dinner, I’m excited that I’m going to try a teaspoon on SF pudding! To date, my diet has not been an issue for dumping ~ but I keep my guard up! ***(I just want to add info on “dumping” ~ it’s not simply vomiting, it’s also intense nausea, cold sweats, dizziness, diarrhea ~ some or all of these symptoms at the same time. So, not a pleasant experience. No.)***
Moving on to “body changes”… nope, I can’t even. Suffice to say (for now) that further surgeries will be warranted!
I think that about says it all at this point. It’s early morning (8:15 a.m.) and I’m feeling somewhat sane, so it seemed like a good time to journal this. I’m hoping this info will help or inform someone else either going through this journey or getting ready to embark. It is way harder than I’d anticipated, but I’m assured that it’s very “worth it”. However, my main reason for journalling this is to have it later to look at, to remember. I know I’m going to WANT to remember this journey.
Some stats, just for fun: Started the journey in November, 2017 at approx. 356 lbs. Weight at surgery: 297 Current Weight Day #6 Post Surgery: 283. And I’m melting… melting…. melting!
Thanks for stopping by.
PS I should mention that this is MY experience. Everyone is an individual and may experience differently. I cannot speak for what others endure.